Garden Snake

Garden Snake

Green garden grass snakes can be dangerous. Yes, grass
snakes, not rattlesnakes. A couple in Sweetwater ,
Texas had a lot of potted plants, and during a recent
cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them
indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. It
turned out that a little green garden grass snake was
hidden in one of the plants and when it had warmed up,
it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the
sofa. She let out a very loud scream.

The husband, who was taking a shower, ran out into the
living room naked to see what the problem was. She
told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down
on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it.
About that time the family dog came and cold nosed him
on the rear. He thought the snake had bitten him and
he fainted.

His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she called
an ambulance. The attendants rushed in and loaded him
on the stretcher and started carrying him out.

About that time the snake came out from under the sofa
and one of the Emergency Medical Technicians saw it
and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the
man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.
The wife still had the problem of the snake in the
house, so she called on a neighbor man. He volunteered
to capture the snake. He armed himself with a
rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.
Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who
sat down on the sofa in relief.

But in relaxing, her hand dangled in between the
cushion where she felt the snake wriggling around. She
screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the
sofa, and the neighbor man, seeing her laying there
passed out tried to use CPR to revive her. The
neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping
at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the
woman's mouth and slammed her husband on the back of
the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out
and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed
stitches. An ambulance was again called when it was
determined that the injury required hospitalization.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she
saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife
bending over him, so she assumed he had been bitten by
the snake. She went to the kitchen, brought back a
small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the
man's throat.

By now the police had arrived. They saw the
unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that
a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to
arrest them all, when the two women tried to explain
how it all happened over a little green snake. The
ambulance arrived and took away the neighbor and his
sobbing wife. Just then the little snake crawled out
from under the couch. One of the policemen drew his
gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the
leg of the end table that was on one side of the sofa.
The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered and
as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.

The other policeman tried to beat out the flames and
fell through the window into the yard on top of the
family dog, who startled, jumped up and raced out into
the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it
and smashed into the parked police car and set it on
fire. Meanwhile, the burning drapes had spread to the
walls and the entire house was blazing. Neighbors had
called the fire department and the arriving fire truck
had started raising his ladder when they were halfway
down the street. The rising ladder tore out the
overhead wires and pulled out the electricity and
disconnected telephones in a ten-square city block
area.

Time passed...

Both men were discharged from the hospital. The house
was re-built. The police acquired a new car, and all
was right with the world. About a year later the
original couple were watching TV and the weatherman
announced a cold snap for that night. The husband
asked his wife if she thought they should bring in
their plants for the night.

She shot him...

Author Unknown